Something for the fun bin. Before I was on OkCupid I tried Craigslist for a little while. Just prior to giving up, I posted a little rant. I thought it might be fun to share here, so here it is:
Hello? Is there anyone real here? I'm starting to think that CL has become a total waste of time :-( I've posted ads and often get a deluge of responses, but almost every single one of them is spam! I'm so jaded that every time I hear the computer beep I don't think "goody, some woman replied to my ad", no, I think "oh joy, another spammer". For your amusement, here's some of the crap I've received:
- she tells me how she likes to masturbate and play with toys. Gee. Just what I wanted to know. Much more interesting than hearing about her interests. Oh, wait! Sex and masturbation are *all* her interests! I like her already. We have so much in common
- she tells me that she's really hot and 28. Six replies in a row and they're all 28. Why are they all 28?
- she tells me in one sentence or less how she really felt a connection from my post and could I please reply to this gmail address (not the one she apparently sent from) because the other one doesn't always work so well. Being blocked by the spam filters are we, honey?
- again a connection but this time please go to a web$ite for her pic$. Italy seems to have overtaken Latvia in popularity lately, but .info is at the top
- content-less email with a picture of her holding a card below her ample bosom saying "if you're real, email here: ..." and today's date (or two days ago). Trying to convince me you're as terrified of spam as I am? Nice cleavage, BTW. Didn't quite distract me from the huge ring on your finger. Side job to feed the family? Can't find an ethical job? Sorry I didn't qualify "exclusive" when I said LTR. I kind of thought that was obvious. Well, you learn something new every day
- variation #3 on the true connection, this time with a picture included (wow! She's hot! And young! Scoooooore!) and please reply quick because she can't wait to get to know me (or just maybe she's wanting to get my email address into her spam database quickly)
- just two words "send pic". OK, maybe she's not spam, but she doesn't have any respect for me or my time. Sure, the pic I posted on my ad is not exactly fully revealing in glorious high-def, but I wrote a lot of detail in my ad and I'm not here to satisfy the curiosity of some bored browser. At least take the trouble to cut-and-paste a generic reply stating interests and desires
- a paragraph or two about how I sound mature, nice, serious, she's looking for a real relationship, blah, blah, blah. Nothing there that sounds specific to my post. Not really sure if this is a spammer who actually paid attention in their English class or a real woman who has the machine gun approach: fire enough rounds and hopefully one will hit. Either way, not really inspirational
- variation on the above, but she's overseas/willing to relocate. Um. Fishing for a greencard, perhaps? Seriously, how often does that work out? How do you grow a relationship if you can't spend time together? Besides, I want someone who loves me for what's inside me, not my immigration status.
And, finally, sometimes there's a reply from a real woman and a real conversation ensues but sadly so often she's not sure what she wants, isn't ready for a LTR, has too many fears or issues from her last relationship or there's no chemistry.
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